The Flying Ship

The Flying Ship

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Couch Potato

So, look, life is complicated. Life and what comes after.

But you know what isn't complicated?

Television.

It's beautiful. It's simple. It's pure.
It's the answer.

I remember when dad came home with our first television. I remember watching that expressionless black screen... come to life. To speak. To act. It understood me. It loved me. And I loved it, forever.

People don't think about that word much. What it means. How long it is.

Back when, well, y'know, before, I had friends. Girlfriends. Boyfriends. Family. Co-workers. I used to run and drive and swim. Rock Climbing, stage diving, lovemaking.

But none of it meant as much to me as that single, simple box in my lounge room. It was like... You know those Buddhists? How they do that praying stuff? And they, like, get in touch with the universe or something?

A chick in a bar once, she said to me

"I hate TV. It's crap. It's old."

I punched her.

That's how it is for me. That's how I watch Tv. Nothing matters. Nothing.

So, when he came, you know, Him, he was all, "We gotta go,"

And I was all, "No way man. Get lost. You're blocking the set. I love this show,".

So he said, "Fine. I'll be back later."

But I wasn't listening. There was a funny ad on. It had a dog who caught a Frisbee. Classic.

Sometimes there are other people on my couch. I don't care. Sometimes they turn the set off. But I can still watch it. I just turn it back on.

The electrician came, because one of the people was complaining about it. "Dunno what's wrong with it lady. Just get a new one."

But it didn't matter. I was still there. I could still watch my shows. Hey neat. Cartoons are on.

What was I saying? Oh yeah. The people.

They went away. They all went away after a while.

He came back. You know.

Him.

He said, "You've been here too long. You're too old. You're too lost. You gotta come with me,"

And I was like, "Shuttup man. I can't hear what the newsguy is saying."

He sighed. He left. What a buzz-kill.

I hear one day, all the sets will be broken.

But not mine. Still got it. Right here.

I hear one day, God will burn the Earth.

That don't matter. So long as the quiz show still rolls. And it will.

I hear, one day, the sun will go out.

That don't matter. They'll still show re-runs.

Hear that one day, entropy and energy will finish their fight. That the multiverses will collapse. That heat-death will come, and everything will end.

That don't matter. Because I'll still be right here. On my couch. Watching weekend specials. And midnight classics. And the morning news.

I'm not worried.