Well, You Just Wouldn't Believe Me.

I'll touch you. Touch you inside your chest. Poke your lung.

Stop it!

Strange?

(laughter)

Whoa. What happened to that? It died of course.

(laughter, laughter, laughter)

"Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrreeee yyyyyoooooouuuuu fffffffffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllliiiiiiinnnnngggg oooookkkkkaaaaayyyy?"

Yeah I'm fine, keep going.

Cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut.

Red red red red red red red red red red.

Dead cow. Flies, go away. I shall eat my dead cow.

Thats a bit strange?

Bright white teeth, sink into arm.

hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt.

"Jjjjjjjoooooooeeeeeeellllll ppppppaaaaayyyyyy aaaaattttttennnnttttiiiiiiooooonnn"

Sorry I'm listening, keep going.

Dead cow dead cow dead cow dead cow.

Bullet, bullet from a gun. Into head. red red red red red red.

(Laughter laughter)

Take a chip take a chip take a chip. TAKE A CHIP!

(Slaughter slaughter slaughter)

"Yyyyyyyyooooooouuuuuuu ssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeemmmmm ddddddddddiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssstttttrrrrrraaaaacccccttttttteeeeeddddd, wwwwwhhhhhaaaaaatttttttssss wwwwrrrrroooonnnnnngggggg?"

Nothing is wrong... Sigh...

Insult Me And I'll Probably Agree With You.

"I am a Joel. Or am I? No I'm pretty sure I am. Yep. I checked just then. Imagine if someone stole you while you were sleeping and replaced you with a totally different person? Do you think you would notice? I would, if someone did it to me. Defiantly."

- Joel Hollands

Its funny, for a while I never thought I was different. I thought everyone was like me, and I had some pretty awkward situations discovering this. For example, I have known for ages that people dream. And I always thought that dreaming about drooling quilled creatures eating you, and starving to death in the desert and being dissected alive on shiny metal tables was just the sort of thing that everybody dreamed about every night. It turns out that for most people, nightmares are pretty rare. I get them most every night. And then probably the funniest other thing was the whole,

Joel: "Hey, you know the voices that you hear in your head?"

Other person: "Uh... No..."

Joel: "What do you mean no?"

Other person: "I don't hear voices in my head"

Joel: "Really? Thats weird"

Other person: "Not really... I don't think its normal to hear voices"

Joel: "Oh."

*Awkward Silence*

Anyway. By osmosis and the internet I discovered that there are various things about me that other people may consider strange. Thus different Joel is different, lol.

This should probs be the point that I say some thing like, "I may be different, but I like who I am! Yay!" But I don't. I hate me. I'm my least favorite person. For various reasons. No point elaborating. That would just be dull.

So yeah. Joel is who I am. And I'm less than happy about that.

Here's a Gibbon. You deserve it if you read all that crap.

Gibbons are the smallest apes, they are frugivores and a little bit folivores (that means they eat fruit and foliage). They are Monogamous, the mated pairs having little sexual dominance or weight difference. Both parents take an active role in caring for young.

Kalatorm?

Pulled immaturely from incubation,

Sweating, wet, unfed, parent-less

Washed up upon a beach of white sand,

Sea weed clinging to thin white limbs,

A snake, undulating black body, jewel eyes,

Mouth opens wide, venom drips from fangs,

Strikes, misses, Neck gripped in tiny fists,

small white teeth sink into snake flesh,

The reptiles head is severed from its body,

And the flesh of its neck, eaten by the ravenous child.

White sand. Red snake blood soaks in.

Sleeping creature.

Nice Work People.

Aches and pains,

Heads with no brains,

The production of guns,

And corrupt men's funds.

They all rise steadily, day by day,

The lies build up, the truth gives way.

And soon, we'll all be dead. Who even cares.

I'll Wipe Anti-Inflammatory Rub In Your Eyes, And Laugh.

So a private source told me that some (not all) trinity kids think I'm bat-shit insane. In a negative way. Off-the-rails-flaming-wreck of a person.

Also, to the person who told me, I love you very much.

So, I suppose I'm not that normal. I suppose I've made a few mistakes. I could give you a whole lot of things to chew on, like, "Jesus, who I love btw, Hung out with some pretty shady characters" Or perhaps, "Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone" or even, "Love all equally, richer or poorer, the sick the feeble in body or mind, the needers of charity"* perhaps "Aren't you guys Christians? how come you invite my friend David (the Atheist! oh dear, we must save him!) to your youth bible tea parties, but not me?". But you know what? I don't really feel like pulling a reasonable, definite kind of argument against you. After all, what reasonable arguments did you give for judging me? Not one. Bit hypocritical on my part, I know.

So this is what I'm gonna do. I'm going to swear at you.

Fuck you. FUCK you. I hope you choke on all those shit stupid makes-no-sense contradictory rules you have. I hope your ignorance, intolerance, non-accepting, lying crap makes you happy, you cunt fucking shit-heads.

If you fall over on the street, I won't help you up.

Not all of you are bad. Many of you are quite dear to me. Thank-you for enacting Christian values.

Also, I am more intelligent than, at the very least, half of you.

*Zomg, Joel knows bible verses!

Tidy My Room, And Cthulhu Will Find You.

And trust me, you do NOT want a God-like Old One Eaating your immortal soul, or making you a thrall of his magnificent Evil. He's, like, more evil than Google. Well... maybe AS evil as google. Still... Google... EVIL.

Note To Self

S.F.T.S.S.M

Tune in when I'm feeling better for the meaning of this phrase.