Praying to The Aliens.

I don't like aliens. And more than that, I don't like the idea of aliens.

Let me elaborate.

I like vampires, witches, warlocks and wizards. I like the TV show True Blood, the Harry Potter books, Lord of the Rings and various other fictional things. They range from amusing distractions to nifty reads, to profound literature.

I do not think those things exist. I know there are people who think that vampires, witches, warlocks and and wizards actually exist. I think those people are silly. I even know that there are people who think they are those things, for real. I think they are exceptionally silly. However, they in no way bother me. Oh sure, every now and then they go crazy and kill someone, but I would think that is also true of perfectly 'normal' people who do normal things like become lawyers, play video games or work in florists. I find them to be a largely harmless bunch of oddballs and fetishists. And if they enjoy it, if it makes them feel better, then power to them.

However, I do not like aliens. I don't like X-Files. I don't find the idea of aliens existing, abducting, flying around in saucers etc, to be in any way interesting. I think it's boring.

I also do not like people who think aliens exist. I find that mostly it is because those people have imbibed too many recreational chemicals, and have gone a bit crazy. The ones that I have met are paranoid, annoying, stupid and don't make sense. They think the government is trying to control them. They think that 'The truth is out there!'. They think that the reason why the world is bad is because people are blind to the truth that our water is being spiked and making us docile or that such and such is enthralled to the Queen of England who is really a space slug.

The real reason why the world is bad is much more mundane reasons: Greed. Arrogance. Ignorance. Fear. Hate. All boring, and all true.

I know that it is possible that there is life on other planets. But they are not grey litte men getting dissected at Roswell. Most likely, they are fungus growing on rocks.

Let me say this once and for all: Aliens are just pretend. They aren't real.

I'm not being paid to say this by the government. I'm not a mindless sheep. I'm not having my mind controlled by anyone. I just don't believe they exist, in the same way atheists don't believe in God.

If you tell me you believe in aliens, I will tell you this:

I believe that invisible pirates secretly spread mould all around food you don't put in your fridge so that you'll buy those fridges that they are selling you. And that's how they plan to control the world! Don't be blind to the invisible pirates! They're REAL. They want you to think it's aliens! It's a ruse! The truth is out there!