Ahem

Swearing is very fun
But if you are not careful
You'll get in trouble

My brain hurts a lot
Maybe I have brain cancer
And I'll die of it

I once knew a guy
He had way too many teeth
They pulled them out

I have more money
If you have a mortgage
than you, in a way

I see an hobo
He smells of great vileness
But he seems happy

The word that is said
By Mary Poppins does not
Fit in an haiku

An honest man will
Tell you that you look very fat
Do you want that lady?

I have a red knife
It is extremely sharp now
Soon it will be blunt

I have dark brown hair
But my girlfriend has blonde hair
Diversity, bitch

Tiger balm is great
But if you get it in eyes
Screaming then ensues

Some people think that
I am reasonably mad
I mostly think not

God help you sir, lady,
If you can't write an haiku
I can, so screw you.