I've never not been afraid. I've never been a fighter, or tenacious. When challenged, I run away. When upset or offended, I ignore. When insulted, I become not angry but sad.
That's not to say I don't get angry. I do fairly frequently. I'm just not very good at it. My voice goes squeaky and I get flustered and generally make a fool of myself.
I could never have been a warrior or a soldier. Submitting simply seems easier than fighting against the juggernaut of life. And I see not why it is that that is a bad thing.
I wonder what it is sometimes that makes me, me.
I think that is who I am. A coward, a snaker around of problems, he who flees, he who avoids. I could have been a mouse, or a rat, quite well. I take comfort from this.
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