The Transmogrifier

I heard a story once and this is exactly how it went,


There was a man. He wasn't that great. He was only ordinary. He stumbled over his feet sometimes and he wore glasses. He only liked one thing about himself. It was this one special thing.

He could make anything different. If he saw a cat, he could scrunch up his eyes and turn it into a dog. If he saw a bad person, he could make them a good person. If he saw someone ugly, he could make them attractive. If he saw an orange, he could turn it into a pear. If he saw a sad moment, he could make it happy. If he saw the night, he could make it the day.

Everyone thought it was really great he could do this, and people would come to him and ask him to make their noses smaller, or their legs longer. He would make grumpy old men into smiling little babies. He would make poor hopeless fools rich and successful.

Then, one-day, he walked up to a mirror, and he made himself better. He was better all over, his hands, his eyes, his mind, his heart. He was more generous, more intelligent, and more good looking. Everyone marveled at the improvement.

So he did it again.

Once again, everyone said that it was fantastic, and that he was even better than the better him he was before.

So he thought for a bit. And he scrunched up his eyes really, really hard, and made everyone as good as he was.

And everyone was better: Stronger, richer, wiser, more beautiful. And they loved him.

But these fantastic people complained to him that the world they lived in wasn't good enough for such great people. So he changed the world too. And it was better also, the good things became great, the the bad things ceased to exist.

And everyone loved it. Nothing was bad, ever ever again.

And some people were troubled by the memories they used to have of the time when things were bad. So he made them into happier memories. And no-one could remember the way things used to be.

And that was the way everything always was. People got no older or died or felt pain. People were already as smart as they could be, and they all agreed on everything, and most especially agreed that everything was wonderful.

And God, in Heaven, looked down on the people, and thought, "Why, heaven, it's on the earth now." and He uncreated Heaven.

And the man (who was always in his memory great and was never ever bad) thought he remembered something. Just barely he thought of a time when he was special. When everyone, in their own way, was special.

And everyone in the world smiled but him. And he wished as hard as he could that he could make things different.


And that's the whole story.