All The Little Children

Sitting on this bus, I suddenly realize something.

Little children really piss me off, when did that start? Unless the fond occasion of them completely ignoring me, They look up at my devilishly handsome visage, and it is usually this mix of emotions contorting their tiny faces:

Fear.
Curiosity.
Judgment. (especially little girls)
Obvious dislike.
Desire to annoy.

Like this kid here. Blonde. Sunburnt. Cute as a fucking button with those dimples. Wearing some shirt his hot mum picked out for him this morning (Hot to me, not him. YOU! Mind, gutter, out)

He looks exactly like me at that age, he's even sticking his arm out the bus window like he wants it to be chopped off by a passing car, just the way I used to.

Don't get me wrong, I don't care in the very slightest if some random kid, somewhere in Bosnia or something, is tragically having the mangled remnants of a formerly functional arm amputated by a white clad doctor after an unfortunate traffic collision involving limbs being stuck out of windows when his mother wasn't looking, I just don't like SEEING it happen in front of me.

I'm sure if me and this boy, who I have randomly decided is called Hans, got to know each other we would both learn to like each other, even love each other as brothers, I teaching him how to talk to pretty girls, pick locks, sleight of hand with loose change/bank notes, and other useful Man skills, and he in turn teaching me to remember that on the inside of every long-haired cynical cheating, lying, thieving, blogger is a child still, yearning to remember what it felt like to enjoy being in a world so full of innocent wonders.

But on this short bus ride, Hans and myself really just don't have the time for that schmaltzy shit.

My inner child is a cock. I know it, My Inner Child knows it, and Hans knows it, I can see it in his smirk. My Outer Child, (i.e me) is a cock too. But he's also better at getting away with it, having had vastly more experience. So screw you Hans. See you when you grow up.

Besides, how can you have bro time with a kid when his mum is that hot?