The Flying Ship

The Flying Ship

Saturday, November 17, 2012

How to: Be a person.



Step one: Be born. It is likely that if you are reading this, you were at one point, born. You may have been forcibly squeezed from your mother's womb, or you may have been the result of a Caesarian Section. Both are applicable types of birth, and fine choices. You may have even (potentially) been grown in a scientific vat if some kind, and been decanted rather than 'born'. This, however unlikely, still counts in my opinion.

Some people think that people are people before they are born, which is fair enough I suppose. I lack any significant evidence to agree or disagree with them.

Others think that being assembled rather than grown could be a legitimate form of person-making, however technology is yet to compete with human ambition in this area.

Step two: Develop an identity. This is a crucial step, and more difficult than one might think. Use whatever genetic advantage you have been given, and piece together ideas from parts of the universe in your brain around this centre. Your identity may require adjusting as you age: Don't worry, this is normal.

That done, congratulations, you hopefully now possess a consciousness.

Step three: Experience reality. This is also a befuddling action to take, and it has been rated by some as, "the greatest thing ever" and others as, "A completely awful nightmare" depending on objective viewpoint.

It is generally agreed that people must experience at least some reality, even if it is largely fabricated. If you do not experience any reality, you may not qualify as a person, but perhaps only a body with no mind. If you wish to alter your reality, there are many courses to take including but not limited to:

Losing all possessions.
Use of recreational chemicals.
Changing or gaining some kind of religion.
Space travel.
Total isolation.
Meeting strange or interesting people.
Etc.

Step five: Die. Once you have experienced as much reality as you can, it is generally agreed that the best course of action to take is death. Some people believe there is a part of your personhood that will continue to exist after you die, others disagree.

Every person who had ever lived has or will die, though there are people who believe that certain exceptional individuals never died or never will, such as Elvis Presley, Jesus, and Charlie Sheen.

However, it is fine and natural for you to try to avoid death for as long as possible, by eating good foodstuffs, avoiding certain chemicals, freezing your body in cryogenics to be revived later, keeping physical trauma to a minimum, and regular exercise.

Follow all these steps, and it is doubtful anyone will argue with you being a person. If they do, then argue back that you are, or better yet, act surprised that they would even suggest such a thing, as this is what people do.

Good luck.




No comments:

Post a Comment