When I was ten, this is what I thought about the world:
The world is six and half thousand years old.
Gay people are immoral and should be shown the error of their ways.
Atheists are out to spread lies.
Please forgive me. I was ten.
These are my current thoughts about the world:
The world is several billion years old.
Gay people are just people, no more sinful than anyone.
Atheists are probably indifferent to me.
A younger me would have said that I have become corrupted by the evil of this world and that I have become exactly what I was afraid of becoming. But that is just the thing. When I was younger, I was afraid. I was so afraid. I was afraid that the big bad world would get me, that I would loose my faith in God at the slightest turn of the wind. I was a fragile person, ready to collapse under the weight of my problems.
I have become more than this. I am capable of greater things, and I am certainly not as afraid. I still hold all the beliefs that I had when I was younger, but for a few that I never really believed anyway. I couldn't change the world by thinking it so, so I changed my thinking. I already believe something that is intrinsically contradictory, so why not think a few more? The double think was the greatest thing that has ever happened inside my brain. Quantum Mechanics, Gotta love 'em.
I realize that this blog post probably won't make any sense to you, a casual reader, but tonight I didn't write for a casual audience. I wrote it for myself of the future. And when I read it in the future, my thoughts about the world will have changed. And it isn't corruption. Its growth. And I accept you future me. I accept you as the me of the past wouldn't have. And that is how I know I have grown.
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