I Get A Feeling

Sometimes I get this feeling.

I don't think it has a name, Its so hard to describe, but I'll do my best.

Its like the entire universe is being smooshed through my brain to a place just behind it.

And everything that ever happened or is happening and all the people and things and places and animals and events everything that exists or ever did or ever will is being pushed through my head, like honey through a flour sifter but phenomenally fast.

And I get little tiny images and sounds and things for the briefest moments in perfect detail, things like a little boy eating dog crap for a dare and a woman crying as she is lined up to be shot by Nazis and an old couple kissing on a park bench and a tree being chopped down with a red axe and a car crusher crushing a yellow volkswagen beetle and a frog exploding in a microwave oven and a drugged junkie girl scratching her arm where she inserts the needle and a policeman polishing his helmet and a gentleman asking for a dance from a woman in an emerald green ball gown and an alarm clock going off loudly and a businessman putting down his briefcase to adjust his tie and a packet of chips falling off a bench and a bored woollies worker packing shelves and a middle aged tradesman's funeral service and a girl complaining on her pink plastic mobile phone to her friend that her boyfriend is no good in bed and a family marveling at their first ever colour television and...

But there is more to it than that. Its like all the instruments in an orchestra playing at once make a totally different sound, but you can still hear the individual sounds.

Because behind all those little flecks of things happening in my head there is a running theme, like a long drawn out scream of a feeling. Its a little like nausea but really all I can think of when I feel it is horror.

Not fear that makes you want to run, but a deep set inescapable horror that makes you want to sit down and do nothing. But that is just the feeling that accompanies it. The thing itself is utterly, utterly impossible to describe.

I can feel it now. Pressed against my head like a face on a window. Breathing on my brain.

I wonder if there is anyone else who feels like this. I'd like to talk to them about it.