Train 1: Damn and bother.
Its like being in a glass bottle, trying to shout out at the world to make things happen. Everything is distorted, everything is too difficult to make happen. That isn't really right, but it will do.
I know that really, I'm just a person, not more important than anyone else. But I value myself, because I know myself, not completely, but probably better than anyone else. I also care about myself and my survival, because that what I'm programmed to do. I'm a human you know.
Train 2: One can't be something one is not.
Humans are funny things, and just like Taylor in "Planet of The Apes" I would be willing to travel the universe to find a better kind of creature, but once I found it, I would probably be more likely to side with my own kind that it.
If I could, and if I was a brave enough, I think I would like to be a disembodied consciousness, impartial and without bias to humans or any other kind of creature. I think that would be the only way to truly see what it is that humans are in the end. Whether we are dumb, or smart, great or weak, kind or savage. Its hard to say, impossible I would say, when I observe them as a section of them.
Train 3: This could be allegorical or it could be literal.
Its pretty hard to think through all this smoked glass sometimes, but writing is easy. I just write things, and if they don't make sense, I delete them.
When I eat eggs, I never eat the shell. I've never tried. I always just assumed that the shell is no good to eat. I suppose I'll never know. Unless I try, which I won't. Do I need to try it? I doubt it will enhance my life in some amazing way. So what? I've never eaten the egg shell? So what?
I've never not tried something I thought was a good idea.
It is times like this, that I just lie here, and hold my knife, and don't know how to feel. But if I need to do something, I've got my knife. I can solve all manner of physical problems a stronger person couldn't, if I have my knife. It's true. In the past, I have.
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